Relationships Sunshine Coast
THE LOVE BANK. MARRIAGE BOX.❤️
By Coach Robert Chambers. Robert has over 20 years’ experience in Relationship Coaching Sunshine Coast.
This is actually one of the MOST IMPORTANT aspects of any healthy, loving marriage or couple and must be applied on a day-by-day basis throughout your marriage or relationship, this is a must-do from today. By the time most of my clients contact me as a relationship counsellor on the Sunshine Coast their Love bank is empty and emotionally bankrupt and full of resentment like rust in a car. The only way to mend your relationships is to put love first and start putting back into their emotional bank. First, start by building your intimate relationship by spending time together and start by giving to you partners love languages. There are essentially 5 major love languages to apply.
- Gifts
- Affection touch
- Words of affirmation say nice things
- Quality time together
- Acts of service
Inside all of us is an emotional Love Bank with accounts in the names of everyone we know. When these people are associated with our good feelings, “love units” are deposited into their accounts, and when they are associated with our bad feelings, love units are withdrawn. We are emotionally attracted to people with positive balances and repulsed by those with negative balances. This is the way our emotions encourage us to be with people who seem to treat us well and avoid those who seem to hurt us.
The emotional reactions we have toward people, whether attraction or repulsion, is not a matter of choice. Love Bank balances cause them. Try “choosing” to be attracted to those you associate with some of your worst experiences — it’s almost impossible. Or try to feel repulsed by those associated with your best feelings. You do not decide whom you will like or dislike — it’s their association with your feelings, whether they have made Love Bank deposits or withdrawals, that determines your emotional reactions to them and creates close intimacy.
We like those with positive Love Bank balances and dislike those with negative balances. But if an account reaches a certain threshold, a very special emotional reaction is triggered — “romantic love.” We no longer simply like the person — we are in love. It’s a feeling of incredible attraction and intimacy bonding to someone of the opposite sex or same sex.
Marriage, or a Loving Relationship
The feeling of love is the way our emotions encourage us to spend more time with someone who takes especially good care of us — someone who is effective at making us very happy and knows how to avoid making us unhappy. We would certainly want to spend time with someone we simply liked, but by giving us the feeling we call love, our emotions give us added motivation. We find ourselves not only wanting to be with the person but also craving that person. When we are together, we feel fulfilled, and when apart we feel lonely and incomplete not a good feeling. So, the feeling of love is usually effective not only in drawing people together for significant amounts of time but also in encouraging them to spend their entire lives together in marriage, or a loving relationship.
But our emotions give us more than the feeling of love. When they identify someone who makes us happy, they also motivate us to reciprocate by encouraging us to make that person happy. They do this by making it seem almost effortless to do what makes most of us the happiest, by supplying their love languages. Have you ever noticed that when you are in love, you seem instinctively affectionate, conversant, admiring and willing to be totally intimate and make love? That’s because your emotions want to keep that person around, so it gives you instincts to help you make that person happy and content which, if effective, triggers his or her feeling of love for you. The “look of love” not only communicates our feeling of love for someone but also reflects our instinct to do whatever it takes to make that person happy. Love languages!
When a man and woman are both in love, their emotions encourage them to make each other happy for life. In fact, the thought of spending life apart is usually frightening. It seems to them that they were made to be together for eternity, soul mates. In almost every case, a man and woman marry or stay in a relationship because they are in love, not just love each other and they are in love because their love bank balances are above the romantic love threshold.
Relationship Counsellor Sunshine Coast
But what goes up can usually come back down, and love bank balances are no exception. As most married couples or even unmarried couples have discovered, the feeling of romantic love is much more fragile than originally thought. And if Love Bank balances drop below the romantic love threshold, a couple not only lose their feeling of passion for each other, but they lose their instinct to make each other happy. What was once effortless now becomes awkward, and even repulsive. Instead of the look of love, couples have the look of apathy. And without love, a husband and wife or couple who were in a lovely healthy relationship no longer want to spend their lives together. Instead, they start thinking of divorce or at least living their lives apart from one another. To stop this from happening you may need help I am a relationship counsellor on the Sunshine Coast. And can definitely help you achieve that loving marriage again.
It needs to be obvious to you by now that the Love Bank is an extremely important concept in marriage and happy couples. If you want your instincts and emotions to support your marriage and relationship, you must keep your Love Bank accounts over the romantic love threshold. But how can you keep your balances that high? And what can you do if they have already fallen below that threshold? I’ve worked long and hard to find answers to those questions because they hold the key to saving marriages. Without love, spouses are poorly motivated to remain married for life, but with the restoration of love and its accompanying instinct to spend life together, the threat of divorce and breakups are overcome. Marriages are saved when love is restored, and love languages are applied.
Happy Relationships Sunshine Coast
All of my remaining basic concepts will help me explain the answer to those questions, but the general principle is simple: If a couple wants to have a happy and fulfilling marriage or relationship they must make as many Love Bank deposits as possible and avoid making withdrawals. To achieve this, behaviour must change. A husband and wife must LEARN how to make each other happy, and how to stop making each other unhappy. Not wait till it’s almost over, that’s when you separate, divorce, fall into resentment, and maybe call for help. Ask your partner once a week how your Love bank is out of 10 if it’s Low ask them what you can do to make it higher. But make it fun.
To find out more and get information on how to maintain your love bank, I am a relationship counselor on the Sunshine Coast Queensland, contact me at Australian Professional Counseling Services or simply download my set of e-books “Secrets to a Romantic Love Affair in One Week with your partner. “Take particular notice of Day 3 “Build Your Love Bank.” This book will definitely put any relationship back together once applied. It is filled with lots of fantastic tips and ways to increase your Love Bank whatever your situation maybe with your partner.
Phone: 0409 380 375
