Relationship Coaching will help you Learn to Forgive❤️
Or suffer.
To forgive someone who has hurt you in some way is sometimes the hardest thing you may ever do.
Relationship Marriage Counsellor
As a marriage counsellor, I have been relationship coaching for over 26 years on the Sunshine Coast. I have seen over the year’s people who take grudges and resentment to the grave, mainly women.
Examples of un-forgiveness are brothers against brothers, sisters against sisters, families at war over the simplest things. Misunderstandings is the greatest problem and bad communication.
Sometimes after years, they don’t even remember what happened in the first place.
Relationship Coaching
Relationship coaching will help you learn to forgive. To forgive is not to let the offender go free. It’s actually to let you free because harbouring grudges, and resentment affects your own health. You must weigh things up.
Is what happened last week, last month, or years ago really worth it. It causes headaches, high blood pressure, dramas, and bad health due to anxiety or even depression. Often the offender of the so-called crime goes free.
I’m not saying forget or saying let go of all your negative emotions.
Try first to communicate in a positive effective way. If that does not work, you need to let go not just for your sake, but for the people most dear to you. They will suffer alongside you, because of your negative behaviour especially if the offender crosses your path, and you react.
Trying to forgive it’s not easy. Learn skills about how to forgive. But if you hold on to that pain, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you also can embrace peace and hope.
Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
What is Forgiveness Coaching?
Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger.
The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. But working on forgiveness can lessen that act’s grip on you. It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you.
Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion for the one who hurt you.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn’t necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that allows you to focus on yourself and helps you go on with life.
What are the benefits of forgiving someone?
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind.
Forgiveness can lead to:
- Healthier relationships.
- Improved mental health.
- Less anxiety, stress, and hostility.
- Fewer symptoms of depression.
- Lower blood pressure.
- A stronger immune system.
- Improved heart health.
- Improved self-esteem.
Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?
Some hold a grudge after being hurt, particularly by someone you love and trust. This can cause anger, sadness, and confusion. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment and hostility can take root.
You may allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, then find yourself swallowed up by bitterness or a sense of injustice. Some people are naturally more forgiving than others.
Even if you tend to hold a grudge, almost anyone can learn to be more forgiving.
What are the effects of holding a grudge?
If you struggle with finding forgiveness, you might:
- Bring anger and bitterness into new relationships and experiences.
- Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present.
- Become depressed, irritable or anxious.
- Feel at odds with your spiritual beliefs.
- Lose valuable and enriching connections with others.
- How do I move toward a state of forgiveness?
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a commitment to change. It takes practice.
To move toward forgiveness, you might:
- Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life.
- Identify what needs healing and who you want to forgive.
- Join a support group or see a counsellor or myself. I’ve been ‘relationship coaching’ on the Sunshine Coast for over 26 years and can definitely help you to live a better. Life not full of resentment and bitterness.
- Learn how to acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you. Recognise how those emotions affect your behaviour, and work to release them.
- Choose to forgive the person who’s offended you. Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.
What happens if I can’t forgive someone?
Forgiveness can be hard, especially if the person who hurt you doesn’t admit wrongdoing.
If you find yourself stuck:
- Practice empathy. Try seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view.
- Ask yourself about the circumstances that may have led the other person to behave in such a way. Perhaps you would have reacted similarly if you faced the same situation.
- Reflect on times when others have forgiven you.
- Write in a journal, pray, or use guided meditation. Or talk with a person you’ve found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.
- Be aware that forgiveness is a process. Even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven again and again.
Does forgiveness guarantee reconciliation?
If the hurtful event involved someone whose relationship you value, forgiveness may lead to reconciliation. But that isn’t always the case.
Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In other cases, reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still, forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn’t.
What if the person I’m forgiving doesn’t change?
Getting another person to change isn’t the point of forgiveness. It’s about focusing on what you can control in the here and now. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing.
Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to have in your life.
What if I’m the one who needs forgiveness with relationship coaching?
Relationship coaching will teach you that the first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you’ve done. And will show how they have affected others. Avoid judging yourself too harshly.
If you’re truly sorry for something you’ve said or done and want forgiveness, consider reaching out to those you’ve harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret. Ask for forgiveness without making excuses.
You can’t force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Remember, forgiveness is a process. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy, and respect.
One way is to download a copy of my e-books “Secret to a Romantic Love Affair in One Week.” These books will most definitely help or phone and talk to myself a life coach today.
Look at my book “Learn to forgive” Day 4. This book will help you and your partner to learn how to forgive and put the past in the past where it belongs. It is packed with great tips, suggestions, and information.
When combined with my other 6 books in this series you will gain empowering knowledge. Thereby be able to get on with your life in a positive and rewarding way.
If you need help today contact me for relationship coaching. I have been a relationship counsellor for over 26 years.
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Relationship coach
Robert P Chambers