This is a very serious situation and can be very destructive to any relationship. Giving the cold shoulder, as we say, only builds resentment on both sides. The silent treatment is actually a form of ostracism. Basically, when someone is ostracized it affects a part of the brain that detects pain, so you are inflicting pain on that person by not talking and communicating, just like ‘Time Out’ with a child. This is why it is so effective; the child feels pain so they will start to change their behavior to receive love and attention. To give the cold shoulder is an attempt to control your partner. Some people are so good at doing it they don’t even know they are. It is rude and frustrating to your partner.
Some people will do it for a day or some may keep it up for days on end. This is unacceptable behaviour. Keeping this control up for a day or days is not healthy for the giver or the taker. If you try to exert control of your partner in this way you need to take a good look at your own self-esteem, communication skills and the amount of anger and resentment you hold inside you. Giving the silent treatment is a form of punishment if done deliberately and as a family counselor for over 15 years, I can tell you silent treatments can lower your partners self-esteem, send them into anxiety attacks, depression and destroy any love points left in their love bank for you. If you are on the receiving end of silent treatments and you try and communicate with these abusers, and they get angry you may be faced with the decision of leaving the relationship. To handle the situation, I highly recommend you get a copy of my eBooks “Secrets to a Romantic Love Affair in One Week” before you leave or let the relationship get any worse. Each book is filled with great tips and ideas to put your relationship back on track. Take particular notice to Day 2; Communicate Daily, Day 3; Build your Love Bank and Day 4; Learn to Forgive. Nip silent treatments in the butt now, once and for all, get your relationship with the one you love back on track.
